Clyde was one of those unfortunates who seemed singled out to
continually walk under a cloud of trouble and misfortune. Nothing he
ever did seemed to turn out right. Clyde was a good man, went to
church, but his brother never went to church, never pretended to be
religious, yet his crops were always big and his farm prosperous.
Clyde had tried his hand at many things, and one by one, they all
failed---- until, as a last resort and because he saw his brother
doing so well, he decided to try farming. He bought all his equipment
and a plot of land. On his first day out, on his new tractor, just as
he made the first turn in the field, the tractor overturned, dumping
Clyde in the soft mud, coming to rest on top of him.
Clyde lay there on his back, with his eyes toward heaven in
complete dejection and asked, “Why, God, why me?” He heard a voice
from above saying, “I don’t know Clyde, there’s just something
about you that ticks me off.”
The pastor’s wife wanted a new chandelier for the entryway of the
church. The pastor brought it up at the next council meeting. After
due deliberation the church council made this decision: “We can’t
have it for four reasons. First, we can’t afford it. Second, nobody
can spell it. Third, even if we did get it, nobody could play it….and
fourth, what we really need is more light!”
Share some humor with a friend, Christian singles, to defeat
loneliness and depression!
A new pastor was invited to join the local Kiwanis Club. The
membership secretary reminded him, however, that they were only
allowed to have one representative of each profession, and they
already had a pastor. The only position not represented right then was
that of a hog caller. Would the pastor mind? The pastor replied, “Where
I came from I was known as a shepherd…….but of course, you know
your group best.”
A mother had taken her young son to the toy department of a large
downtown store. It was time for them to leave but the boy, who was
very stubborn and strong-willed, was determined to stay on the rocking
horse and play awhile. His mother had tried every way she knew to make
him behave, being especially mindful of the advice she had had about
raising a child without spanking or inhibiting him in any way. The
clerk had even tried to bribe him with candy but he wouldn’t budge.
A well-known child psychiatrist just happened by chance to appear and
the mother implored him to help her get the boy off the rocking horse.
He walked over, bent down and whispered something in the child’s
ear, and without a moment’s hesitation the little boy climbed down
walked over and took his mother’s hand. Astonished, she asked, “What
did you say to him?” The psychiatrist answered, “I told him that
if he didn’t climb down from there immediately I would break every
bone in his stubborn little body.”
