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CHRISTIAN
SINGLES
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CHRISTIAN SINGLES : GUIDE TO
ENDING LONELINESS AND DEPRESSION Cont.
Chapter 23 Self Sabotage; When You Shoot Yourself In
The Foot!
Self sabotaging people could be considered their own worst enemy
because they manage to shoot down the very thing they desire. Their
subconscious mind goes to work to be sure they will fail. This is called
“double mindedness. In James 1:8 we learn that “A double-minded man
is unstable in all his ways.” Therefore, we must take into captivity
those thoughts which obviously are detrimental. Negative,
self-destructive feelings that come over us from time to time, telling
us we are too weak, unworthy, unlovable, and even too unlucky to ever
succeed were not placed there by God. They either come from the enemy of
our souls or from past bad experiences, a deep sense of shame, or any of
the other hindrances we have been discussing, such as depression, envy,
shame, and self-hatred.
Why do some Christian singles seem to pass over what others consider
great “marriage material,” for them, a man or woman who seems to be
a dream come true, and they always fall head over heels for the misfit;
a lazy, abusive, addicted, manipulative, deceptive bum? This Christian
single may think that they will change the object of their affections,
but their friends think, “Yeh, when pigs fly!” Usually we learn from
past dating disasters that we should find someone without all those
mental problems or flaws, but there is something in our minds that lure
us into another relationship, with the same outcome. This is self
sabotage, knowing what lies ahead with such a person, but rushing into
it anyway. And how do these misfits know where to stalk their prey? Can
they sense a man or woman who is susceptible to their type? Do victims
send subconscious signals to abusers, assuring them that they will
tolerate their abuse and manipulation? It may be that a person who is
unsure of themselves, due to unhealthy and unscriptural fears and
thoughts in their minds concerning their worthiness and lovability, let
the hunter find his (or her) quarry in a thousand ways. Perhaps the
victim simply tells them how mistreated they’ve been in the past, a
definite clue as to what the victim will tolerate. Such a person needs
to get their mind renewed and their spirit set free from low self esteem
so that they do not attract the wrong kind, again. The Lord can heal the
down hearted, and give them a whole new way to see themselves, and this
should be undertaken before the single looks for a mate again.
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