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CHRISTIAN
SINGLES
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CHRISTIAN SINGLES : GUIDE TO
ENDING LONELINESS AND DEPRESSION Cont.
Chapter 22. Three Dangerous Words And What They Have
To Do With The Runaway Bride!
In killing an animal to make clothes for them, God provided an object
lesson for all of us:
An innocent animal had to die to “cover” their sin; the sin of
wanting to be gods to know things God had no need to teach them yet.
They were given authority over all the Earth and all living things, but
this power was not enough for them.
Healthy shame made the first couple aware that they had overstepped
their boundary . Children learn there are boundaries for them too, and
shame is a healthy and watchful school master, reminding them that some
activities and places are off limits at their age. Adults also
experience healthy shame when they are caught in a lie, theft, or other
unacceptable action. To make them remember not to do that again, God
designed the blush which causes them to turn red in the face,
totally humiliated, and they feel a deep sense of shame. Instead of
finding the nearest hole to hide in, the wise realize it is better to
own up to their transgression, ask for forgiveness and make amends to
those they have hurt. Unfortunately, the moral code of today teaches us
that we should never be ashamed of our actions, because that is an
outmoded reaction, based on Puritanical beliefs. Now, it is perfectly
acceptable to commit adultery, sell your body or never take
responsibility for your actions. The only unacceptable thing is to feel
ashamed. Blushing went out with high-button shoes. But real people know
when they have done wrong, and they want to make amends and never commit
the same offense again, as I’m confident my Christian singles would
do.
Shame lets us realize our limits. As Clint Eastwood’s famous line
says, “A man ought to know his limitations.” We are not gods, but
humans, full of frailties. On the other hand, Toxic shame, as
psychologists have named it, is a deep seated, destructive emotion that
constantly reminds us that we are worthless, failures from the start.(We
must hide those memories of bad things we did as children because if
people knew about them, they would discover that we are hopelessly
flawed, and disgusting.) This is the hallmark of toxic shame, carrying
guilt and shame from childhood for unimportant mistakes, long gone and
forgotten by others.
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